if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
