Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize