You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
