he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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