girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
