my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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