Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
