Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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