Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
