you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
