i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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