oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
