They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
