Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
