Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
please come you make the beer taste better
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
