Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This house was built for laser tag.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
