He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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