Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
