I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
