I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
