hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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