So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
