you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Randomize
