I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize