why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
did you just send me my own nude
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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