I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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