Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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