Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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