Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
