I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
