she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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