I want to stick my p in your. b.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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