drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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