i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
