Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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