Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
