I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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