guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the day after is always just damage control
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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