...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
