Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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