Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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