I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
