I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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