So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
