just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
