Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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