My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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