i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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