Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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