All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
