you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
