Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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