careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
