I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
