It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
