Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
