but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
