You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
