well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
