? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
